I recently received an email because I get a lot of fan mail. This particular one was written by a hot chick named Amy. She wanted me to poke the old hatchet wound, and kept going on and on about how she thinks I’m hot and have the awesomest website in the world. Below is my response to her advances:

My Dearest Amy,

I’m hesitant to write you back, on account of the fact that you have chlamydia abbreviated in your screen name. However, I cannot deny the raging boner which sits before me. You have boobs that could displace a lot of water. I think that if we made sexy time, it could probably last more than 10 minutes.

I slaved and labored for over 17 years in order to become a level 72 Poem Grand Master, and I do not take kindly to being called a joke. But I must prove myself through my words, and so I write you this poem:

Amy Amy,
You make me insaney.
I just recently noticed,
Your vagina is grainy.

In that picture you took
on that one hot day,
Where you stood on the beach,
With that child, you play.

Amy Amy,
I just camey.

Because you dunkle my retarded winkle.

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